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Apr. 12th, 2006

Carl and I went hiking today and checked out O'briens with Bob. I love the place, so many good beers (bottled and tapped) and on top of that they're dog friendly so Oggi can chill on the patio with us. I've never experienced a place with so much Belgian beer madness. Another plus is that it's in a little strip mall with a Vietnamese restaurant, Korean BBQ, Tofu House, and two boba cafes. Lets go!

BEER!

Carl and I have been experimenting with brewing beer. We're now on our second batch. The first was a nice German Amber Ale and this time we're trying an IPA. My personal preference is something extremely hoppy and sweet. Next time we brew I'm going to document the process for those who are interested. As soon as I get our first labels done i'll be posting that as well, but we still haven't thought of a good name for our home brewery O_o

Why you so nasty?

I basically am making this entry because I found a couple Mr. Show images to use for my userpics. Stupid?!?! I've been too damn busy to update this thing and for a while I thought I was going to use this other "legit" blog that I made. Yeah right! I've been working, schooling, taking accordion lessons, painting, relearning flash and starting to learn XSI. Basically trying to keep myself busy. It's not that I feel myself too good for live journal, I still read all of your entries every day at work....just haven't been active in the community, which I regret. The little snippets of your lives you choose to share bring joy to my <3.
I hate it when people say that there's no smog in San Diego and that "it's just HAZE". Haze is a friggin synonym for smog. Are they trying to fool themselves into thinking cars and factories in San Diego do not omit toxins into the atmosphere? Sure it's not as bad as LA, but don't deny it exists by using a word that sounds less harsh.

Bizzarro.. I'm not helping.

There is a large life changing decision that has been hanging on my shoulders for a very long time now. My knees are rickety and my back bends over from supporting this weight for so long I don't know if it can ever go back to the healthy position it once was. It has weaved itself meticulously through every vein in my body and it feels as if I am at the point where I can either take the very difficult path of cutting it loose from me or letting it continue to weave itself into me forever until it becomes me. I have never been intelligent when it comes to these matters and confusion and distraction set in so easily, but not as of late. Lately I can't seem to ignore it. Maybe because it's spring. The season of rebirth. Everywhere around me I see it, but not in myself. I guess you notice when things move more when you're standing still. Why can't I just decide what is right?

I'm tired of being Distract0.
My mother looked particularly haggard this morning. I guess Sean lost their digital camera at school. She comes in to tell me that she is fed up with him and that she screamed at him today. What a sad state of affairs. I really feel sorry for both of them. My mom freaks out about the tiniest things and having a teenager around when you're in your mid 40's is no easy matter, especially Sean...he's a special case. This morning she just radiated the emotion that she has always embodied in my life, ANXIETY and STRESS, and tends to pass on to those who come in contact with her. For a while I took it upon myself to try to alleviate some of that stress in her life and try to get Sean more focused. Problem is, I still have problems getting myself into focus and worrying about him at the same time started to turn me into my mother, which I'm not quite ready for yet thank you very much. She would also call me constantly informing me of my failures in getting him to complete assignments. The negativity drove me nuts but now I realize a lot of why I am who I am.

I am a cynical fuck. THANKS MOM!

I have faith in my little brother's ability to decide what's right for him. Sure he's lazy. Sure he'd rather play video games all day.... I did. But I didn't have the constant pressure of people trying to tell me how to live my life. Plus he was there to distract their attention from what I was doing. Now he gets them both all to himself, the somewhat senile conservative old man, and the negative anxiety of a post-menopausal mother. I can see that being one of the main factors contributing to why he can't focus. I go over to their house for an hour and I start to go mad. Once he gets out of there he can start to rebuild his life.


I wonder what this does to you.

Another semester completed…..

….and I’m exhausted in many aspects of my life.  Some time off would do me much good and I plan on doing a lot of relaxing type activities in the near future. If you’re also into relaxing and maybe consuming a bit of alcohol, a word that originated from Arabic during their studied of alchemy (btw), let a girl know and she will happily relax with you!

 

The more you know the more you know you don’t know.

 

Just being able to glimpse a bit of the connections between cultures that occurs in a highly strategic area of the world, such as the Middle East, is overwhelming to me but nevertheless extremely fascinating and challenging. I’m not the best at remembering dates and names of places but it was much easier this time for some reason. Though I imagine it will end up being hard to retain over time, at the very least the important overlying themes and interactions will stick with me well.

 

So now, on to the task of finding myself a new job, one that doesn’t leave me listless because of inactivity and repetition. If it’s something artistic, I really don’t have the portfolio to show for it. I guess the first step would be to create one that’s halfway respectable and work on more projects to post to it. Maybe I can get Rollie to help me with it!? He seems to have a trait most desired by one of my nature…the ability to finish things.  Other than that I will be searching Craigslist for random things that seem interesting enough, maybe something where I can work on my feet.

 

Shift focus from mind to body.

So I'm at the library right now and this dude in front of me brought his mini scanner and is scanning shit from books. Clever idea, however it makes the most god awful highpitched noise. What a douche! Please pray to the essay writing gods for me friends, I need all the help I can get.